By Carol Bolden … In the decades leading up to the Civil War the United States saw some dramatic changes. Having begun as a third- world country with its people living on isolated farms, those decades before the Civil War were pivotal in bringing about changes in transportation, communication, and manufacturing that brought America onto the world stage and made it a global economy.
For even longer than those few decades, the people and the politicians of the Northern and Southern states had been warring over economic interests, cultural values, and the power of government to control states and slavery in America.
The war that eventually materialized was an exquisitely painful experience for this new world power, pitting brother against brother and father against son. What could be done in the aftermath of this wrenching war to bring the states and the people back together?
There’s no quick fix for broken relationships, and there’s certainly not an instant one, whether concerning an entire society or individuals. Healing requires time, trust, and connection. It requires commitment. In this instance, the people felt betrayed by opposing views. The North felt betrayed by the South’s secession from the Union; the South felt betrayed by the North taking away their means of financial support; and Blacks, whether from the North or the South and having little say in these events, were tossed to and fro by the turbulent politics of the day.
During World War II, a young Jewish girl, Stella Kubler, unable to get a visa to leave Germany, was arrested by Nazis and subjected to torture. To avoid deportation, she agreed to become a “catcher” for the Gestapo, finding and turning in other Jews, some of whom she had known from school days.
Stories of disloyalty throughout history abound. Think of Brutus who stabbed to death one of his closest friends, Caesar, then emperor of Rome. Or Judas Iscariot who betrayed Jesus with a kiss. Brits will remember Guy Fawkes who tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament with 36 barrels of gunpowder. There was Dona Marina, a Nahua woman sold into slavery at a young age who aided Cortes in his conquests, using her linguistic abilities to serve as translator. Remember Tokyo Rose? A name for several English-speaking women, at least one from America, they transmitted anti-American scripts by radio to lower the morale of Allied troops. Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, an American couple, were accused of spying for the Soviet Union during the Cold War by providing thousands of top-secret reports on aeronautics and atomic bomb construction to the Soviets. They also recruited sympathizers.
Why all this betrayal? Where did it begin? What’s behind it? Can we do anything to assuage it?
When Lucifer, that beautiful and talented being created by God and placed in the highest position in the universe next to God, began to harbor jealousy toward his Maker, it led to the biggest betrayal of all time. Using his position of privilege, Lucifer began to plant doubts in the minds of other angels, causing them to mistrust the One who not only created them, but sustained them.
When Jesus sailed to the country of the Gadarenes opposite Galilee and a man with demons (or fallen angels) met Him, the demons said to Jesus, “I beg You, do not torment me!” Satan’s lies were still imbedded in the minds of fallen angels thousands of years after the original lies were told.
How did God handle that one?
And what happens to those who choose to betray others? Unable to handle the guilt of their betrayal, both Stella Kubler and Judas Iscariot chose suicide. Betrayal, as a hostile action, affects both the betrayer and the betrayed.
Sometimes, it’s difficult to know how to handle being on the receiving end of betrayal. The hurt of it overwhelms, consumes us. Emotions run deep, with anger and hurt often at the core. Desire for revenge may rage. Perhaps we can learn something about responding to betrayal by looking at responses to betrayals already mentioned.
In his second inaugural address of March 4, 1865, then president Abraham Lincoln, sought to heal a once-divided nation, setting forth plans for healing the nation and establishing a standard for relations between the factions. He ended his address with these words, “. . . with malice toward none, with charity for all . . . .”
Forgiveness and acceptance were the path Lincoln chose to handle betrayal. He sought not only to forgive, but to restore those states that had seceded from the Union. His goal was to provide a way back to unity that would save face for those who had left, and which was not too difficult, a way that would begin to heal the wide rift that had opened up between the North and the South.
Forgiveness releases us from all the negative emotions that accompany betrayal.
When Lucifer rebelled, the heavenly councils pleaded with him to mend the rift. The Son of God presented before him the mercy, the greatness, the goodness and the justice of the Creator, and the sacred, unchanging nature of the law. But the warning, given in infinite love and mercy, only aroused a spirit of resistance. Lucifer allowed his jealously of Christ to prevail and he became the more determined.
Sometimes, there’s no remedy for betrayal and we must allow the betrayer to go their own way.
When we find ourselves recipients of betrayal, we should remember we are not alone. Jesus experienced it at the hand of Lucifer, from His chosen people, from Judas. And let’s not forget our own culpability.
As members of divided communities and even a divided church, what steps can we take to rectify the divide, to avoid betraying our brothers and sisters, to heal the sting of betrayal?
We can follow the advice given by Crosby, Stills & Nash in their early ’70s song: “You, who are on the road must have a code that you can live by. . . .” Our code of love, blessing and loyalty to mankind must be lived out and passed on to our children so they too can live well, so they become a blessing to the generations that follow.
–Carol Bolden is traveling through the United States in a motorhome with her husband Thom. Read her blog: (https://outlookmag.org/off-to-see-america-traveling-by-motorhome/). She was communication assistant at RMC until her retirement. Email her at: [email protected]